A future

It surprises me, when and how I think of that

Something of just you and me,

 

A future –

 

(so vivid and real)

That it may be even possible

 

I think ahead like always,

Thoughts creep in slow and

Flow all around my head fast and quick,

Trying to escape at first but being trapped, remaining

Setting something up, strong

Without any chance of defeat

 

I hope you can fit and fight on with me

In this tight and rigid space of my mind

For what the future will hold, brings forth fancies and opportunities to rip away set ties,

Unexpected but accepted, in time

 

I hope you’ll be beside me, for the big and the small things
All I can want and dream for you,

Is just to be.

Whatever that might come to mean,

All in good time.

 

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21 blog posts series take thirteen

21 blog posts series take thirteen

Thirteen: “Appreciating sport and athleticism”

Sport means something, that’s what I’ve come to learn. Whether it be the community hall annual table tennis tournament, the premier league or even the junior league. Whether it’s indoor or outdoor, team or individual – sport has a deserving place in our lives. Love it or hate it, I feel that you can’t help but admire it. The fact that individuals go to lengths to better their skills and abilities, commit to a team or even follow various ones, it shows a dedication that’s something to think positively about.

Now in all honesty I may not wholeheartedly love a certain team or sport fully, but I do enjoy watching how passionate others are about it and of course the inclusion of those of every age. This comes as I remember the most read article on this blog, a piece from two years ago I did on a football game and triumph from an underdog team locally here in Wicklow. I link to that post here: (https://cathyinconversation.wordpress.com/2015/03/29/newtown-united-come-out-of-their-shells/).

That game was something incredible to be witness too, particularly in the celebratory time afterwards you could really just see and feel how much it meant to everyone and that has stayed with me since. When I was younger I pretty much tried every sport under the sun to see what would stick. There were a few faithful favourites but even now I know I could never be as good again as I once was. This month marks ten years since I competed in the Irish Gymnastics national championships in Belfast and was placed 8th in trampolining. My only claim to sporting fame, really seems like a lifetime ago.

I’ve friends and family who always think back to the sport that was theirs in their youth and there’s often a sense of regret that we didn’t stick at it. I understand that but it’s okay to accept that circumstances change and life moves on and sometimes sport can get mixed up in all of that. Facilities come into play as well as the time you have available to commit to these things. It’s tougher than it may seem and I think these athletes that give it their all week in and week out are champions in their own right for simply doing this and training hard.

When you look at the bigger tournaments like the Olympics or World or European Championships, you can’t help but admire the athletes coming from across the globe to represent themselves and their country in so many sports. I really think that sport is something simple to unite a country rather than segregate it. I know there’s such a thing as hooliganism and often cases of racism in sport, but for the majority of supporters – they’re simply involved to follow a team and to purely enjoy seeing what their men or women do best.

Athleticism is something excellent. Whether you work out alone in the gym or you show up for your team each week on the field, you’re doing something worthwhile in my view. Not only is being active rewarding for your mental and physical health, it’s something that sets an example for others. I’d love to have a personal trainer just to be in awe of what he or she can do and push others to do as well.

There’s money to be made in sport and I know there are plenty of various outlets cashing in on it but I don’t think it’s all bad. People feel good wearing the emblem of their team or the colours of their country and that little bit of pride goes a long way. The support is so rewarding for athletes that it can nearly be seen on their faces. So go to the matches, watch it on TV, clutch the match day programme tight – because you’re involved in something good that’s unique and special in its own right.

All images used are from my personal Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/cathyleex/

21 blog posts series ease eight

21 blog posts series ease eight

Eight: “The curse of social media”

Love it or hate it, social media is something that has marched into our lives with some amount of force. Gone are the days of giving the love on Bebo, sending mini messages on MSN or updating your presence on Myspace. Bigger players have taken the scene and trust me, it’s hard to block out the bad form the worthwhile in the online world even more than it is in reality.

The outliers who have chosen to avoid social media have proven to me that it can be something good. These examples are the infamous Ed Sheeran who threw his phone away and went on a years hiatus. Not saying that’s something that could really be in our paths, but it’s not something to be knocked either. My aunt is giving up social media for Lent and I think that’s a little bit more up our alley for the minute.

I think social media really can draw us in and with the constant updates available by simply refreshing a page or feed – you can really get trapped online sometimes where it’s very hard to switch off (literally). The fear of missing out is a factor, whether this be a Facebook competition, a funny meme or a shocking Snapchat story. Is it a crime to miss the latest scandal, a Snapchat streak or a Twitter argument between two celebs? I’d like to think it isn’t but I strongly believe that social media is growing in power.

Actually, there’s a lot of similarity going on across the boards of social media. Within the last couple of months, Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat have gotten quite similar and maybe that makes it easier to update them all. I don’t know about you, but I preferred when each had something different to offer and I’m just not sure if that’s going to continue to be case.

I ask you this honestly, do you think that having social media accounts now is essential for living in the world? As regards jobs, more and more now businesses of all types have social media accounts and it can be seen as essential that employees have something to contribute on that front if needs be. Maybe social media is something now part of every day life that we can’t possibly avoid.

But that’s not to say that there aren’t some toxic things out there. Social media encourages gossip and even the very real and annoying, “keyboard warriors”. I don’t know what it is that makes people think they’re more powerful when looking at a screen than someone in the eye. It’s hard to know whether we are unintentionally contributing to this world of social media. As it’s primarily us providing the content for the most part on these various platforms.

I sometimes find social media as a huge place for unfiltered bragging and sometimes people can share to much leaving nothing really else left to know about a person. Is that the best way to live and allow people to get to know you? How much of that is real? I’m no psychologist but it’d be interesting to see how having a high social media following could affect a persons self-esteem. Friends or followers, which is better for a person socially (without the media part)?

One thing I find to be the real curse of social media is that of the time stolen from us by it. Time does not seem to exist when it comes to social media as it can really hook a person and I feel social media demands our time. But it could be us after all that are placing high importance on it. So take a step back, it’s actually not that important.

All images used are from my personal Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/cathyleex/

21 blog posts series find five

21 blog posts series find five

Five: “Valuing and appreciating individual friends”

Friends are valuable things and I’ve come to realise recently that really, you can never have enough. They’ve addictive things, like a good box of chocolates. Now what’s good about the fancy chocolates you get? I’d personally say that it’s how each is a specially selected chocolate that has its own specific identity, and you have your favourites sure but you appreciated the individually of all.

You’re not going to be ungrateful for a box of chocolates just because you like some more than others.

This is the same of friends. What I’ve found is that sure, it’s great to have your old reliables, the quick fix that you know exactly what to expect from. Keep those close as they’re a necessity. Always appreciate the role they have in your life in terms of them always being there and close at hand.

But, have the oddballs and irregulars too. I find that a great way to do this is to have specific friends that are based on the mood you’re in or the mood you want to be in. If you’ve a bitchy or gossipy friend and you’re in the mood for a goss sesh, go straight to them. It’ll be a laugh if you’re in a foul mood.

If you’ve a friend with opposite views to you on things, don’t underestimate the value of this. If you don’t surround yourself with people who have varying views possibly different to your own, you aren’t being challenged to new thinking. You can even get yourself into something of a bubble affect where you only see one world view. Not ideal I’m fairly sure I’m right in saying.

Basing friends off your mood can be something great as you spread your friendship about. But no matter what, always appreciate each friendship no matter what level it’s at. The great thing about friendships is that they’re entirely unique to just you and somebody else. But as well as this, it’s a two way street.

You have to make time for friends. If you really do care about somebody as your friend, not having the time to meet them for a coffee or a quiet drink is something that can really hurt someone or even get on their nerves. Even if there’s no badness intended in your action, do you really want your friend feeling like that?

These sorts of things can cause bad feelings between friends and the last thing you want to do is fight with friends. It’s something that digs deep into you. Friends are people we’ve given our trust to, time and of course dedication. So feeling an unease there is something that leaves a definite uncertainty.

So with things like that, I’d always say it’s better to have things out in the air to settle it as soon as possible. Time moves very fast and allowing things to build up can have a real ripple effect and even appear in the form of an outburst that can change a friendship completely. So, best to be avoided wouldn’t you agree?

On that note I’d finally say: never exclude and always give some form a chance to people, out of simple respect. For the sake of the time you’ve given to a person: all the text messages, snapchat streaks, lazy days in front of the TV and adventurous summer activities among secrets and all important laughs shared – everyone deserves a second chance. If not, were all of those things meaningless? Prove to the friend of yours that they weren’t and don’t be the first to give up.

All images used are from my personal Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/cathyleex/

Valentine’s Day

By Cathy Lee

 

You’re like a lullaby to me

So soft and pure

Like nothing is going to break us

Not if we hold on

 

Grasp,

Clasp me for as long as possible

This race of chasing time

I can’t win and neither can you

 

But we’ll try as much and as long as possible

Of course we will

Because together we can do it, can’t we?

That’s what they say

 

As long as your coffin lies by mine at the end of this

It means we’ve achieved something

Doesn’t it?

 

I really don’t want to get there

 

I wish to stay here in your wonderful presence

Where everything is youthful and exceptional

And something bittersweet

 

Light the cigarette and pass it to me

I really just like to feel it between my fingers,

Nothing much else

 

Sharing this something simple with you,

It’s all that matters

 

I’d prefer to be holding you though,

Simply by hand

Through fingers maybe even intertwined

 

Do you know what I mean?

Can you conceive it?

 

Because I can

It’s all that paints the walls of my mind

 

All consuming and surrounding

I guess there is no escape

But truly, I don’t mind

 

Just to breathe your air and engulf your presence

It’s like a summers day

The best day of your life

 

I want to spend with you

All days, from here and now.

 

No pressure

 

Simply Possible

Be direct, look

Open this book of endless possibilities

Of you and me.

 

Gaze, make me fall into your smile

I’ll watch closely as your expressions change,

Knowing there’s impact there

 

Feel me out,

Get to know my kicks and ticks

Challenge my imperfections

 

Get close enough to view my reflection,

From the mirror in the background.

 

I will reach out for you.

We’ll discover, together

All things new and thrilling

Always on the look-out for the next thing, fulfilling

 

Until there’s nothing more to see.

I understand.

 

It’ll soon fade and we’ll be fine,

Knowing we simply shared some,

Of each other’s time.

“The dust and sweep of the city” (2014)

“The dust and sweep of the city” A Descriptive Essay about twenty-four hours in the life of a city:

Have you ever felt irrelevant within the goings on in the world around you? As if it wouldn’t make much difference if you were present or not. Well, most would say that’s what being part of a city is like. I however disagree. You see I’m the square-shaped clock with the discoloured face that perches above the Eason’s bookstore in Dublin’s city centre. I see your apparent irrelevance every day. I see everything really: the 4am silence and the junkie that phases out beneath me, the early morning rush hour as you all frantically attempt to get to where you’re going to, right up until the eccentric nightlife in our capital city. Maybe I’m the one who is irrelevant because, to me, it is the life in it that makes the city what it is.

The contrast I witness in this city in twenty-four hours is something extraordinary. For example, it’s 9am and the city has life again. It’s Friday so everybody has that ‘Friday feeling’ they all seem to strive to get. I notice a man and woman walking happily together. They are dressed in suits and discussing the business headlines. The man stands out for me. He is dignified sure, but I notice the trickle of the ink of a tiger tattoo running from the back of his neck downwards as they pass. Next comes a young schoolgirl. Her body is weighed down from the weight of her schoolbag. She takes out a cigarette and lights it before checking me for confirmation of the time I provide her with. She is satisfied now but stressed. I constantly see the tension of the youths as they cope with the pressure of exams. I don’t know whether I pity or envy them, as sadly an old clock never gets educated. She stubbed the cigarette into the brick wall and I watched it fall to add to the dust and sweep of the city floor.

The usual morning hours passed with lack of any definite level of busy intensity. Buses came and left again, tourists snapped photographs of the Spire and one even stood beneath me for a photograph. I noticed the bland and vibrant colours that differed from person to person, styles and fashions clustered together into one city blur. The collection of people really accumulated at about 12:30pm. The midday sun beamed as people surrendered to their bodily needs and swarmed the city in search of nourishment. It really is a time of rush when everyone is hungry. The food differs from the savage ‘BigMac’ to the petite garden salad. The name of the game seems to be to eat your daily catch as quick as possible, while on the move to the next thing on your agenda. One must wonder ‘while there’s a breath of life in our bodies, we are determined to rush to see the sun the other way around?’

There comes a time in the city day when the clouds dim and evening appears to roll in. Everyone I see is on edge as they attempt to flee from the city chaos, all at once in want for their weekends to start. The public transport systems are compact and clogged, filled tight with indifferent people thinking of their own destination alone. The fumes of exhaust unravel from these moving boxes and I notice the discomfort of the surrounding city people. Those in cars drag themselves slowly, hardly moving, through the packed streets. The traffic warnings boom loudly from the car radios and although each person is to their own, there seems to be a sense of commuting community as everyone is stuck together, trying to break free from the city hold up. This finally dies down at a time close to 7pm. There is a sense of ease and calm as doors of shops are shut and the sun disappears to its final resting place after the working day.

What surprises me really again is the contrast. The hours drift into night until finally the second world of the city is upon us. At about 10:30pm, that’s when the city begins to flourish again. The demand to be here in the ‘in-scene’ is huge. The nightlife is peculiar to me. People surround themselves in the dark atmosphere of a pub or nightclub and light up, chug down or snort some awful concoction and tell themselves they’re having a good time. I hear the high-heeled shoes click by me again and wonder how girls are immune to the cold night temperatures. Some fall and skip and trip below me but laugh it off like its all part of the fun. This is a new life form than the daytime one. I see the same humans but there is a definite difference. Like the chameleon who can change colour but remain the same creature. I, the clock, am disregarded as these few hours of the Friday night drunken slander roll into one combination of a ‘good time’.

Ice forms above me on the roof of the building I’m attached to. As the night turns to morning of approximately 3:30am, I recognise the man. The tiger tattoo printed on the back of his neck. He is still being the man of business at this hour, but I feel it’s probably a different line of work than his daytime regime. He pushes the girl around a bit as she doesn’t seem to take him seriously enough. She appears dazzling in a short sparkling dress but more dazed as I notice her distant eyes.  A black car pulls up in front of us. The woman smiles as she is rushed into the car. Money exchanges hands and our pimp walks away with the lout. The car turns and vanishes as I see the obliviousness of the woman, as the man rests his hand on her thigh.

It’s a rare time when I experience silence. I can actually hear myself tick. It never does last long, but it’s a time I treasure. See, I don’t get to embrace the beauty of the flowers in St. Stephens Green or the treasures of the libraries or museums. I rely on the views of the life of the city. Twenty-four hours goes by quickly to me, maybe it does for you too I don’t know. The life starts again for me at about that time just before the sun rises. The woman who was earlier sold returns to shoot heroin under the shelter I provide to her. Her face is tear-stained and desperate. I watch for the few minutes it takes for her to gain her desired feeling. Her pimp returns momentarily to provide her with some damp cardboard and a sleeping bag – he needs to keep her alive at least. She finally loses all sense of this city we’re all a part of and passes out below my place of stance. The sun comes up and the man clears away, not before spitting on the helpless girl and mumbling an insult. I savour the final moments of quiet before my twenty-four hours begin again.

You see, they say the city never sleeps but here, I’m the only one who can’t rest. The injustice I witness in daily life is something of strangeness that I can’t help but notice about the human lives in the city. The man goes to work at the beginning of the day discussing business headlines and ends it spitting on a prostitute he sells for profit. If you look deeper into the hustle and bustle of the dust and sweep of the city, you may not see the twenty-four hour detail I see, but the fact of what the reality means in our beautiful, yet tainted, capital city. Time is the essence, I as a clock would know, but a lot can change in a little over twenty-four hours.