Five: “Valuing and appreciating individual friends”
Friends are valuable things and I’ve come to realise recently that really, you can never have enough. They’ve addictive things, like a good box of chocolates. Now what’s good about the fancy chocolates you get? I’d personally say that it’s how each is a specially selected chocolate that has its own specific identity, and you have your favourites sure but you appreciated the individually of all.
You’re not going to be ungrateful for a box of chocolates just because you like some more than others.
This is the same of friends. What I’ve found is that sure, it’s great to have your old reliables, the quick fix that you know exactly what to expect from. Keep those close as they’re a necessity. Always appreciate the role they have in your life in terms of them always being there and close at hand.
But, have the oddballs and irregulars too. I find that a great way to do this is to have specific friends that are based on the mood you’re in or the mood you want to be in. If you’ve a bitchy or gossipy friend and you’re in the mood for a goss sesh, go straight to them. It’ll be a laugh if you’re in a foul mood.
If you’ve a friend with opposite views to you on things, don’t underestimate the value of this. If you don’t surround yourself with people who have varying views possibly different to your own, you aren’t being challenged to new thinking. You can even get yourself into something of a bubble affect where you only see one world view. Not ideal I’m fairly sure I’m right in saying.
Basing friends off your mood can be something great as you spread your friendship about. But no matter what, always appreciate each friendship no matter what level it’s at. The great thing about friendships is that they’re entirely unique to just you and somebody else. But as well as this, it’s a two way street.
You have to make time for friends. If you really do care about somebody as your friend, not having the time to meet them for a coffee or a quiet drink is something that can really hurt someone or even get on their nerves. Even if there’s no badness intended in your action, do you really want your friend feeling like that?
These sorts of things can cause bad feelings between friends and the last thing you want to do is fight with friends. It’s something that digs deep into you. Friends are people we’ve given our trust to, time and of course dedication. So feeling an unease there is something that leaves a definite uncertainty.
So with things like that, I’d always say it’s better to have things out in the air to settle it as soon as possible. Time moves very fast and allowing things to build up can have a real ripple effect and even appear in the form of an outburst that can change a friendship completely. So, best to be avoided wouldn’t you agree?
On that note I’d finally say: never exclude and always give some form a chance to people, out of simple respect. For the sake of the time you’ve given to a person: all the text messages, snapchat streaks, lazy days in front of the TV and adventurous summer activities among secrets and all important laughs shared – everyone deserves a second chance. If not, were all of those things meaningless? Prove to the friend of yours that they weren’t and don’t be the first to give up.
All images used are from my personal Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/cathyleex/